January 31, 2012

Just saw the live action MW movie. Osamu Tezuka’s name is all over the opening credits, but no-where is the outright homosexuality that provides half the tension and the bromance-between-layperson-and-priest-gone-all-the-way stakes. I’m suspecting the live action Japanese male actors didn’t want to do gay scenes, which might be cultural but more suspicious a motive is that actors phoning it in that much aren’t gonna go gay for comic book movie pay, no matter how many Cannes awards they may win for it. Because these actors… they probably weren’t gonna suffer the ire of Japanese traditionalists for their art, or anything else for their “art” because HALF THE FUCKING SUBTEXT IS MISSING. The movie’s title is pronounced “Muu” but I say to this poorly realised adaptation is better called “Meh”.

Worst comic book movie since Batman and Robin, and I didn’t even hate that one that much.

September 21, 2011
The Other Side Of The Sea

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SEA

BY JACOB MARTIN

I guess you could say I’m a loner among men,

Never considered myself a social butterfly

If I were ever to meet my high school friends again

Would they care if I lived or I died?

There’s billions of people in this world,

Some of them I’ll never meet in RL

Maybe a Japanese man on the Image Boards

Or just some labourer on sick leave, hope that he gets well


Cause I woulda never even known these folks

If I didn’t talk to ‘em online

Cause I didn’t have many friends, to begin with

You could say my mental health’s been in decline

Yet there’s one thing in this world I do know…

One thing that separates the n00bs from the 1337,

If they can’t understand what I’m sayin’

I guess communication ends in defeat

Nobody knows who I really love, nobody knows the real me…

Nobody knows what I live for, on the other side of the sea…

There’s six billion men and women, and some who’re in-between

Sometimes I stuff up a post, read a thread wrong

And we don’t understand what the other guy means…

There was a time

I stopped a suicide

Across a fuckin’ ocean of tears

I stayed up for a week

I didn’t get no sleep

And it’s haunted me for years

Don’t regret it though,

Cause I saved my bro

From another mother,

Another country, I discovered

We lived in different nations

But we shared the same frustrations

Can’t say it works all the time

Our era called love a crime

On this Internet Hate Machine

Can two humans in this world find friendship

But express it without using memes?

I guess nobody knows who I really love, nobody knows the real me,

Nobody knows what I live for, on the other side of the sea…

There’s six billion men and women, and some who’re in-between

Sometimes I stuff up a post, read a thread wrong

And we don’t understand what the other guy means…

There was this one guy,

To think of it makes me cry,

Didn’t read his email quite right

Now I’m worried again

That we’re no longer friends

Cause we got in some stupid fight

He hasn’t blocked me

So I guess I could see,

We might be able to work it out

But if I wasn’t so damn shy, I coulda told him why,

That happened, and what we got mad about

Now I know it sounds kinda silly

That people these days get so worked up

And we’re losing sleep about our online peeps

Cause company offline ain’t enough

To keep the lonely ass men and women

Of this information superhighway

From just ending it all and giving up

In a wretched, heartbroken display

Pity even when we’re connected

Sometimes we don’t see things clearly

And we wonder what might have been

If we didn’t screw up, and who should care, really?

But what it really comes down to

Human nature, it’s always been flawed

Is that when people talk across underwater cables

It’s hard to know if the other guy ain’t pissed off

Or if he just wants to be friends again

Chillin’ out, through Instant Messenger, shootin’ the breeze

So if there’s lessons learned, from gettin’ burned

I beg the internet’s forgiveness please…

Nobody knows who I really love, nobody knows the real me,

Nobody knows what I live for, on the other side of the sea…

There’s six billion men and women, and some who’re in-between

Sometimes I stuff up a post, read a thread wrong

And we don’t understand what the other guy means…

© Jacob Martin 2011, All Rights Reserved

February 18, 2011
Where my bros at?

To all the fellas, who know me in RL or otherwise - if you have seen I Love You Man you would have gotten some idea that romance is not the only thing on a man’s mind.

Sometimes a bro just needs a bro, and in times like this I haven’t found many bros. Valentine’s Day was the usual routine of not feeling too fussed about it until after the fact, but it may be the case that I actually need contact with human people rather than just looking for romance right now.

Romance would be good too, but at the very minute I’m typing this I’m shaking my head at the sorry state of male interaction. I just came back from my friends place where we played a board game called Nexus Ops, which is what you would get if you crossed Starcraft for PC with Risk and elements of Warhammer 40,000 if it was more balanced and was a much more accessible board game you didn’t have to spend money on models and paints for.

Sadly I only get to see this friend of mine once a week, the rest of the week is so dull in terms of my social life schedule that I was motivated to buy a bus ticket just to see where it would take me. You heard me right. I bought a bus ticket just to see where it would take me. And so far it’s taken me to an art gallery to see an exhibition I was completely unaware it was on - and to Downtown where there’s a cinema and an electronics goods store I checked out only to find that they had loneliness marked down on sale for half off.

Normally, if Hollywood movies are to be believed (not the most credible source, but hey) a woman rarely finds herself in this dilemma compared to what men have to do to cope. You want to know why so many men bury themselves in video games and avoid their loved ones on occasion? There’s your answer, us men, you put two guys in a room together and it’s AWKWARD - we don’t know where to start with each other so we start yammering about video games with each other because it’s the only common bond a lot of men grew up with as a coping mechanism.

Video games don’t make people stupid, I’m just saying that it’s become something that rather it being a truly social activity like it used to be - online gaming really destroyed the essence of going to a mate’s house to play some GoldenEye 64 on a single CRT TV screen. Video games were never the actual problem here, the problem with video games isn’t the games themselves but the idea that for a lot of guys we’re more comfortable talking about that than actually recognising a man gotta vent a little - that he’s feeling low all of a sudden.

It’s not even the subliminal homophobia that does this either - men of my age group genuinely, in the most innocent sense of me phrasing it - do not know how to talk to other people of their own gender about emotional problems or issues that affect them directly. They would if they knew how - but many men find the concept of male interaction mystifying because we haven’t been equipped with the social norm of being able to talk to each other or ask people for help.

It’s a baffling dilemma, and it’s a problem that affects men of all stripes, orientations and races. Hell we don’t even know how to ask another man for help with a damn maths problem, that’s how bad it’s gotten!

I would like to be in a relationship with a woman right now, but I really have to ask myself if Tyler Durden was right (while acknowledging he was wrong about a whole lot of other things) about the idea that “Maybe another woman isn’t what we need?”. That statement shouldn’t be taken at face value to begin with either, because women still can help men in situations that their fellow dudes cannot assist under their current skill level.

I’m talking about the idea that men are really confused about what their emotional needs are, rather than their emotions in themselves. Men have emotions - we just have not been taught on any scholarly level what to do with them.

August 20, 2010
Paranormal Bromance anyone?

You may have heard thanks to the success of the Twilight Saga a tendency towards the foundling genre “Paranormal Romance” being a new trend in what women are reading. But what are guys reading?

Guys get to pick from such exciting genres as… sci-fi and fantasy that already exists, plus contemporary literature written by cynical old professors, and occasionally a comic book aimed at men, which there is no denying since there is boobs on the cover nine times outta ten.

But what of the new trend of bromance movies? Will this affect literature?

Will we ever see Paranormal Bromance, with such generation defining classics as I Love You Half-Fish, Half-Man? Will we see the epic heights of Superbadass Creatures That Listen To Rush And Make Star Wars References?

Only time will tell if this has legs as a genre. If it does, it will probably have mutant, tentacle legs.

5:52am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZljRPywX9z3
Filed under: bromance literature 
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